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hardy2eX
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PostSubject: funny joke   Sun Oct 01, 2006 9:59 pm

post jokes


Q:did you hear about the new blonde paint
A:its not really bright,but its cheap, and spreads easy
Drum


Last edited by on Tue Oct 03, 2006 7:37 pm; edited 1 time in total
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rusty9
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PostSubject: Re: funny joke   Sun Oct 01, 2006 10:01 pm

nnice joke
I'll post a joke tomorrow if no one else does b4 me
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rusty9
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PostSubject: Re: funny joke   Mon Oct 02, 2006 8:08 am

Q:Why did OJ Simpson drive to Louisiana during his police chase?
A:Because you'll never find a Heisman Trophy winner there.
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hardy2eX
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PostSubject: Re: funny joke   Mon Oct 02, 2006 8:11 am

ha but that kinda hurts me cause im cajun and my family grew up there well i should say down there

but still haha
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hardy2eX
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PostSubject: Re: funny joke   Mon Oct 02, 2006 4:37 pm

how does michael jackson pick his nose



from a catalogue
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bob2
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PostSubject: Re: funny joke   Mon Oct 02, 2006 4:47 pm

hehehehehehhehehehehehehhehe
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rusty9
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PostSubject: Re: funny joke   Mon Oct 02, 2006 6:19 pm

just heard this joke in an RVD interview:
Q:What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Richard Pryor?
A:One caught fire on Pepsi, the other caught fire on coke (cocaine).
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PostSubject: Re: funny joke   Mon Oct 02, 2006 7:19 pm

niiiiiiiiiiiiiiice
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ziro
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PostSubject: Re: funny joke   Mon Oct 02, 2006 7:20 pm

o yeah thats from WWEmag
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rusty9
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PostSubject: Re: funny joke   Mon Oct 02, 2006 7:30 pm

what's the difference between mark henery and donkey kong?

3 minutes. they're twins!
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PostSubject: Re: funny joke   Mon Oct 02, 2006 7:32 pm

A Blonde Goes On Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend.

The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right ... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 -- are you ready?"

Barbara: "Sure, I'll have a go!"

Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest?

Is it........

A-Robin

B-Sparrow

C-Cuckoo

D-Thrush

Remember Barbara its worth 1 Million dollars."

"I think I know who it..but I'm not 100%...

No, I haven't got a clue. I'd like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure.

Regis: "Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone?

Barbara: "I'll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham."

(ringing)

Maggie (also a blonde): "Hello..."

Regis: "Hello Maggie, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on $500,000, but needs your help to be a Million.

The next voice you hear will be Barbara's and she'll read you the question.

There are 4 possible answers and 1 correct answer and you have 30 seconds to answer -- fire away Barbara."

Barbara: "Maggie, which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it:

A-Robin

B-Sparrow

C-Cuckoo

D-Thrush"

Maggie: "Oh Gees, Barbara that's simple.....It's a Cuckoo."

Barbara: "You think?"

Maggie: "I'm sure."

Barbara: " Thanks Maggie." (hangs up)

Regis: "Well, do you want to stick on $500,000 or play on for the Million, Barbara?"

Barbara: "I want to play, I'll go with C-Cuckoo"

Regis: "Is that your final answer?"

Barbara: "It is."

Regis: "Are you confident?"

Barbara: "Yes fairly, Maggie's a sound bet."

Regis: "Barbara.....you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo ...you're right! - You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS.

Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara."

(clapping)

That night Barbara calls round to Maggie and brings her down to a local bar for a celebration drink and, as they are sipping their Champagne, Barbara turns to Maggie and asks "Tell me Maggie, How in God's name did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest?

Maggie: "Listen Barbara, everybody knows that a Cuckoo lives in a clock."
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rusty9
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PostSubject: Re: funny joke   Mon Oct 02, 2006 7:39 pm

Hystarical
how do you like my mark henery joke
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hardy2eX
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PostSubject: Re: funny joke   Mon Oct 02, 2006 7:46 pm

its fine
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rusty9
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PostSubject: Re: funny joke   Mon Oct 02, 2006 10:07 pm

some Amish jokes
Q:What goes "Clippity-Clop, Clippity-Clop, Clippity-Clop,
Bang! Bang! Bang!"?
A:An Amish drive-by shooting.

Q: What do you call an Amish man with his hand up a horses butt?
A:a mechanic

Top Signs Your Amish Teen Is In Trouble

Sometimes stays in bed til after 6am.

In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets.

Shows up at barn raisings in full "Kiss" makeup.

When you criticize him, he yells, "Thou suck!"

His name is Jebediah, but he goes by "Jeb Daddy."

Defiantly says, "If I had a radio, I'd listen to rap."

You come upon his secret stash of colorful socks.

Uses slang expression: "Talk to the hand, cause the beard
ain't listening."

Was recently pulled over for "driving under the influence of
cottage cheese."

He's wearing his big black hat backwards.
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bob2
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PostSubject: Re: funny joke   Tue Oct 03, 2006 6:34 pm

omg so funny
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hardy2eX
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PostSubject: Re: funny joke   Tue Oct 03, 2006 7:24 pm

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.

Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.

He told them to go away and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in.

"OK, follow me" he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.

Down through the valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees.

Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.

"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.

"Yes, Yes, Yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.

"Good" said the bat, "Because I sure as hell didn't!"

Drum
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bob2
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PostSubject: Re: funny joke   Tue Oct 03, 2006 7:32 pm

i don't get it. did the bat fly into the tree and that is why he was bleeding?
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hardy2eX
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PostSubject: Re: funny joke   Tue Oct 03, 2006 7:37 pm

yes
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bob2
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PostSubject: Re: funny joke   Tue Oct 03, 2006 7:38 pm

now i get it and it is funny
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rusty9
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PostSubject: Re: funny joke   Tue Oct 03, 2006 10:05 pm

Q. How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company?
A. There's a big wheel parked outside his house.

Q. Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?
A. He thought it was a delivery service.

Q. How do Helen Keller's parents punish her?
A. By putting a plunger in the toilet.
(that one is a little mean)

TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND...
10. Cats' facial expressions
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds
7. Fat clothes
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time
5. The difference between beige, off-white, and eggshell
4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow
3. Eyelash curlers
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made
1. OTHER WOMEN

TOP TEN THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR IN CHURCH...
10. Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew.
9. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.
8. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.
7. I've decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.
6. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.
5. Forget the denominational minimum salary, let's pay our pastor so he can live like we do.
4. I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before!
3. Since we're all here, let's start the service early.
2. Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.
1. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!

Q. What did the blonde’s left leg say to her right leg?
A. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

_________________


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rusty9
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PostSubject: Re: funny joke   Tue Oct 03, 2006 10:15 pm

Blonde Inventions
1. The water-proof towel
2. Solar powered flashlight
3. Submarine screen door
4. A book on how to read
5. Inflatable dart board
6. A dictionary index
7. Ejector seat in a helicopter
8. Powdered water
9. Pedal-powered wheel chair
10. Water-proof tea bag
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hardy2eX
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PostSubject: Re: funny joke   Wed Oct 04, 2006 8:06 am

ha ha blondes are dumb
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rusty9
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PostSubject: Re: funny joke   Wed Oct 04, 2006 8:06 am

indeed
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bob2
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PostSubject: Re: funny joke   Wed Oct 04, 2006 7:30 pm

rusty, your jokes are hillarious
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hardy2eX
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PostSubject: Re: funny joke   Wed Oct 04, 2006 8:03 pm

An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" "Ach," says the Irish man, "it's drivin' me nuts!"
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funny joke
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